Stultus

For me, small talk not necessary that chit chat you do with strangers or someone you don't want to talk to but you have to. For me, small talk is a talk that don't have a meaning, have no substance, and when it ends, you got nothing but wasting your time. And for me, that including those texting shits you do with someone who approach you romantically. You spend all day and night talk about almost nothing but idle talk and stuffs you don't really care like:

"What are you up to?"

"Have you take a bath?"

"Yes, i know him! He is (insert gossips and your opinion about how bad someone is)"

"Are you busy?"

"What are you doing?"

and so on so on. I was facing this kinda thing for song long i can't even handle it anymore. That boys that ever try to hook up on me make me really sick. It's not i'm saying that they are so bad or ugly or stupid (umm... maybe they are stupid), but the thing is, i don't like small talk like that and you can never ever win me through that. No. I need something 'deeper'. 

I may responding on you like a few weeks, a few dates, but then i'll disappear. Mostly, because i don't waste my time for shallow relationship for fun. I have many other things that can make me happy and small talk not included.

Those cases happened like all the time for these past 2 years and that is actually the main reason why i stayed single. I found some interesting guy, we got close, but then the relationship become too shallow for me, i got nausea, and i'm stop. I don't want to waste either my time or his. This may sound cruel for you, but i'm trying to be realistic here. At least i don't give them false hope and waste their time. 

But hey, what i want to say here is not (only) about my dating style but more about expressing my opinion why small talk don't work for a good relationship. Relationship here not necessarily a romantic one, it also applied to friends and family, but i would like to point that people tends to do it mostly to their crush (at least people around me). 

For me, the main reason is: small talk don't bring you anywhere. Yes maybe you got fun and laugh for several times, but then what? The relationship will get boring really fast because what you mostly talked about is gossiping about others or sharing a same event or experience repeatedly. You know nothing about me and i don't know really know anything about you.

when i say anything i mean: what is your favorite song, your biggest dream, your darkest nightmare, your insecurity, things you love, your ideology, and another thing determine your personality. Wouldn't it be nice if you can share that kind of personal thing with someone you consider as significant? Or how you can even sure about staying with this person if you don't even know them? 

And don't you think it would be nice to be with someone who really care about you? I would be very happy if someone i like ask me why do i like a song or book instead of repeatedly ask about my dinner. 

Another reason, why would you stay awake, like on 2am and talking nonsense about just everything but your deeper though? Such a waste for me. A deep midnight talk would mean different for a relationship, specially if you want to got a serious one. You can share a lil secret or a life-changing-experience for example. Seriously, they are many other interesting and meaningful topics, dude.

So, what do you think? 

Maybe you can start to asking yourself, were all those talks you spend important and meaningful? or they were nothing but words on the air?

But, just take this as my opinion to share, not a precise reference tho. It is fine if you really enjoy small talk. I won't judge. Everyone have their own cup of tea, right? 

xx,

Sha.